Broken
by Nature9000
Summary: Derek's gravest mistake nearly cost him those closest to him and sent him into a spiraling depression as he wonders the streets of Angeles Bay, alone, with only a dog to follow him. When Angie finds him, can her words help lift him, or will he remain?


Broken

Disclaimer: I don't own Trauma Center, I just don't, so don't ask.

A/N: I'm paying homage to Trauma Center: Second Opinion, this was the _very first_ fandom I ever read on this site! The very first author I ever read was black-wings91, also the first person that I conversed with on the site, she helped me out with my very first ever stories, which is sadly, no longer on my profile. Trauma Center was what started it all, and black-wings91 was my very first favorite author. I think, I remember, TCGeek being the other really good author I liked back in December of 07, but it was black-wings that really got everything started. I'm thinking of doing a three part thing, one with just Trauma Center, then a one shot crossed per my two main fandoms. So here we go, honoring Trauma Center and my favorite author (Who I hope reads this, because it would be an honor now if she sees this story).

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-"I'VE FAILED"-

Lost. That was how Doctor Stiles felt as he walked the busy streets of Angeles Bay. His eyes were dull, he had stubble upon his chin, and was wearing a raggedy looking jacket over a somewhat muddy and ruffled, blue button up shirt. He had jeans with fresh tears over the knees. In his hand, he held a half empty bottle of Miller Lite. Where he was going, he had no idea. He'd been wandering around for days. His pride, diminished and his heart was slowly hardening. His eyes were red and raw, his hair was messy and slightly damp. Frown lines formed deep creases around the corners of his lips, making his youthful appearance seem about ten or twenty years older than he actually was. The fire that had once been in him was extinguished.

He'd lost it, he was almost certain of that fact. It baffled him, this new strain of infection, one that he'd never seen before. "I've failed them…" He lifted his bottle to his lips and drank it down to about a third of the beer left. A passing car sped passed him and dipped their tires into a puddle, thinking him for a homeless man. He lifted his eyes up as water splashed onto his clothes. He could hardly care what anyone had done, he couldn't think anything of himself. Not anymore, not after what he had done.

Derek groaned as he rounded the corner of a street and continued to limp down the road. While he'd been out, his legs started to get really tired. "I thought we got rid of it all…the _GUILT_." It was a week ago, the worst conceivable thing to happen took place. His best friend, Tyler Chase, had severe lacerations in his chest cavity and on his heart. When they cut him open, Derek did everything he could to save him. Angie worked beside him, along with his mentor, Dr. Kasal. Observing, were Doctor Hoffman, Naomi, and Dr. Markus Vaughn.

Then something horrible happened, just as Derek started to use his healing touch, everything stopped. Panic and fear shot through him, his best friend's vitals were gone. He was gone. His legs went numb and his stomach twisted. How could he have let someone _die?_ His best friend no less? Then it happened, the guilt jumped from Tyler's body and into Dr. Gregory Kasal. Angie was worried for Derek and insisting he let the other doctors take care of him, but he wasn't letting his mentor die.

He fought hard on his mentor's body, trying his best, but the guilt was multiplying fast. He was going to have to use his healing touch. That's when it happened, Angie's scream. Derek paled as he turned his head and watched his nurse, his confidant, his beloved fiancé, collapse to the ground _"Angie!"_ His voice echoed through the operating room as he left his mentor's side for Angie. He failed his mentor. He failed his best friend, he failed his mentor, and he'd let the guilt transfer to _Angie_.

It was a long, grueling operation. He was using his healing touch and working as fast as he could. Sweat was dripping from his forehead as he did the best he could to make sure that guilt didn't take her from him. Her vitals were dropping, and fast. He was going to lose her, he _couldn't _lose her! She was all he had! Cussing as he started to feel the pressure of the healing touch, he had almost had it under complete control, but it still took an incredible toll on his body. Then it happened, Dr. Hoffman's voice echoed through the operating room and he felt himself torn away from Angie.

Dr. Hoffman, Dr. Vaughn, and Dr. Weaver all had surrounded Angie and were each using their healing touch. For them, time was practically stopped, they were able to isolate the strain. Derek watched with tears in his eyes, staring at Angie's frozen body as she lay on that operating table. He'd failed her too. Dr. Hoffman gave out his orders as the other two doctors did their best. Together, they were able to isolate the GUILT and remove it before it multiplied and threatened anyone else.

He looked to the bodies of his mentor and of his best friend, they were gone. Tears escaped his eyes as the three doctors started closing Angie up. It would take a while for her to recover due to the strain put on her body. He failed all of them. He slowly rose, closing his hands up and peering down. They would hate him now. He was certain of this. Watching Angie's beautiful face as the light fell onto her soft, warm features, he furrowed his brow and closed his eyes. He couldn't bear to face her, he nearly let her die. If it weren't for the three doctors there, she would most likely be dead. How could he have let this happen? Before she woke, before anyone could look up, he left the operating room in tears.

The sound of barking woke Derek from his daydream, he opened his eyes as the cold wind reminded him of his soaking wet clothes. He stared down at the ground, seeing a small dog barking at him, it had no owner. "What do you want? Leave me alone…I lose everyone I care about." The dog was small, perhaps a puppy. It had a brown coat and a white chest, small ears that flopped over and a diamond patch of white fur on his snout. The puppy tilted his head as Derek started walking away from the animal, trying to ignore its whimpering.

He continued to walk down the street, wiping his hands on his jacket and staring down at the bottle of Miller he had. He didn't drink, usually. This was simply his first beer he even picked up since he'd ran off. Due to his 'healing touch', alcohol didn't mess with his mind the way it did normal humans. He heard it again, the quiet whimpering. The puppy was still following him. He stopped moving and turned to the dog, it tilted his head, then slowly bowed his head, walking timidly to Derek and sniffing his shoe.

"What do you want with me? Don't you get that everyone around me…" The puppy perked his ears up and Derek let out a soft sigh. This animal was cute, he couldn't be cruel to a cute little puppy, but he didn't want to get to attached. He was afraid of being attached. He noticed the animal had a limp, so he knelt down and placed his hand on the puppy's head, figuring it probably injured its leg outside somehow and it would heal. "Look pup, I'm on my own from now on, okay?" The puppy licked his hand, causing him to laugh once, the first laugh he'd had in a week. "What is it you want? Do you want food?"

The puppy whimpered and lowered himself to a playful stance, wagging its tail. Derek wanted to play with the dog, but he couldn't, he just couldn't think about happiness at a time like this. He grabbed a nearby stick from the ground and smiled sadly. "Here you go, you want to play fetch?" The puppy barked and jumped. He threw the stick and the dog ran after it. Closing his eyes, he turned around and started walking away. His heart was aching, he hated to abandon a small little puppy. The puppy ran back and whimpered when he saw Derek's departing figure. Its eyes drooped and he dropped the stick, then ran after Derek.

Derek made his way to the bar and sighed as he walked inside. He turned his gaze to the windows as he walked to the bar and took his seat. His brow furrowed when he saw the puppy lying in the middle of the sidewalk, staring through the building. He sighed and looked to the bartender. "I'll have a jack, straight up…"

"All right, sir." Derek watched as the bartender poured him a Jack Daniels, then slid the glass over to him. He gripped the glass with both hands and stared down into it. His eyes shook and his muscles tightened, could he _ever_ return to the hospital? No. He couldn't.

The door opened as Derek lifted the glass up, bringing it to his lips. Just as he was about to turn the glass up to get the liquid into his mouth, someone placed their hand on it, stopping his movement. He opened his eyes and looked to the side to see his blonde angel staring at him, her face mixed with unreadable emotions. "There you are Derek! Where the hell have you been?"

"Angie, I…"

"And you're _drinking_? You disappear for a week, leaving all your patients behind, leaving us behind, and most of all…" She grabbed the glass away from him and slammed it on the counter, rage, pain, and fear all shooting through her heart. Derek winced as he heard the glass bang on the surface. He moved his eyes to Angie, meeting her gaze. She was trying to control herself, but how could she? She felt he abandoned her in her time of need. He could see the tears in her eyes, the hurt, it was too much to bear. "I woke up, Derek. The first thing I asked…was where you were at…and nobody knew. We looked all over for you."

"I…I failed everyone, Angie." She frowned as he turned his head down and narrowed his eyes, closing his hands.

"Derek, you…"

"All my patients would know I failed, I can't let them see that. I almost lost _you_. I can't bear to face Dr. Kasal's brother, Tyler's sister, and…then there's you. I _failed_ you most of all."

"No, you didn't." She was deflated, she couldn't be angry at him. Not when she was in so much pain. "Everyone loses patents, Derek." Slowly, she wrapped her arm around his back and placed her other hand on top of his. He frowned and moved his eyes to her. "It happens, you know that very well yourself."

"But it was my best friend, and…and our mentor."

"Dr. Kasal?"

"Yeah…how can I live with myself?"

"Someone mention my name?" Derek's eyes widened as his heart suddenly stopped. He and Angie looked over to see Greg walking up to the bar. He sat down and took the glass of jack, chuckling as he brought it to his lips. "For me? I don't mind if I do." Angie narrowed her eyes and turned to him, he was still recovering, he shouldn't be drinking.

"Hey! You can't do that!"

"I'll be fine." Derek had to do a double take, he couldn't be sure what was going on. This was definitely Greg, but didn't he _die_? Greg saw the confusion in his eyes and smiled slightly. "When you spaced out on the floor, you kind of went into a trance, I think. Anyway, the GUILT transferred from me to Angie, meaning it left me. Once they got rid of it, they operated on me…Now do you remember what I told you long ago?" Derek slowly shook his head, pondering what his mentor was saying and slowly feeling his heart rising up.

"What's that, sir?"

"You need to ignore personal relationships, in the operating room, that patient is just a _patient_, somebody you need to save. It's not your mother, it's not your father, not your fiancé and not your dog…they are simply a patient. Now, you had Angie running up and down these streets all week, she couldn't focus on anything at all, she was so terrified." Derek swallowed hard and looked to Angie, who had her eyes closed and was exhaling.

"Angie, I'm…I'm sorry. I never meant…"

"Derek, just…don't ever do that again. All your patients are aware of what happened, but they were still waiting for you to come back, and when you didn't…I didn't know what to tell them." Tell them the man she loved had just run away? How could she honestly do that? She forgave him, she loved him, and she knew he only did it because he was hurting. "You're no less of a doctor for what happened, and the funny thing about it…that GUILT wasn't a new strain, rather a mutated form of an old one…"

"You mean?"

"More of a combination of Pemp ti and Tetarti, Angie." Angie and Derek looked over as Greg set the glass on the bar and closed his eyes, breathing out. "You only thought it was a different strain because of how the Tetarti was matured and hid with the Pempti's gas, spreading its own gas. Then, when it transferred, it mutated other kinds of guilts, causing the lacerations and whatnot."

"You mean…I didn't even realize it was…" He couldn't even think straight now. He'd lost his best friend due to a combination of GUILT? He'd faced GUILT before when they combined, but who knew he'd have to deal with that. He shook his head and looked at Angie, who was now sitting quietly on a bar stool, rubbing her arm. He smiled at her and took her hand. "Angie, I'm sorry…I will never do that again." She lifted her eyes and met his, smiling subtly as he slowly exhaled. "It was stupid. It's just…"

"It doesn't matter Derek, just…just please come home and…" She eyed him carefully and smirked as she lifted her hand to his cheek. She moved her hand down his rough, stubbly cheek and tilted her head. "Clean yourself up. I'm not kissing you until you do that." His eyes widened briefly and he started to chuckle. Greg snickered and shook his head, both Cybil and Angie did that quite often. Hell, what woman didn't threaten the 'no kiss' rule whenever their men weren't clean?

"Derek, you need to come back to the hospital…I hope you'll do that." He looked to Greg and smiled. His mentor was staring directly ahead at some bottles on a shelf. "The thing you need to remember is no matter what, a doctor must never abandon his patients. They take top priority." Derek nodded slowly as Angie held his hand and listened to Greg carefully as well. "Understand that they know what you're going through, but they're counting on you. They will believe in you, no matter what. It's imperative that you return and you appease them. I'd consider giving you time off, but you had a week, whether peaceful or not. You understand?"

"Yes sir." Tears dripped at the corners of his eyes, he couldn't believe his mentor was actually alive. He would gladly return to the hospital.

"You know there is still GUILT in some areas of the world, but not much. It's been pretty isolated. You should never stop trying to fight it, if it beats you once, correct your mistake and don't let it happen again. Got that?"

"Yes."

"And Derek…" Greg looked to him with narrow eyes, slightly irritated with him. "I never want to see you abandon your nurse, your fiancé, again. You got that? We all know she's your whole world, so it doesn't make sense you'd leave her…" Derek frowned as Angie bowed her head. He would never leave her side again, he was certain of that. He didn't know what crossed his mind, but it wouldn't happen again. He loved her too damn much. "Hell, the only reason we came to this bar was because she called me up saying she wanted to have a drink." Derek gasped and eyed her closely. She never drank, had his disappearance led her to this? She closed her eyes as Greg groaned in frustration. "I told her we'd go to the bar and I'd make sure she wouldn't have too much, then we saw you…"

"Dr. Kasal, Angie, I'm…what can I do to make it up to you?" The two shrugged and smiled at him. It would take some time, but he'd get over everything that happened.

"For us, you don't need to do a thing." Derek thanked him and looked to the window, the dog was still sitting on the sidewalk. He then remembered something he'd overlooked when he was kneeling beside the dog, it had an open sore!

"Shit! The dog!"

"What?"

"Dr. Kasal, you came in your car, right?" He jumped from his stool and the two quickly stood next to him, eyeing each other with concern. Greg always had medical tools in his car. "Grab your medical equipment, please sir! Angie, I need your help…"

"Okay…" She followed him as he ran outside, the dog was now sprawled against the sidewalk and whimpering rapidly, its chest heaving. Tears were brought to Derek's eyes as he lifted the puppy up. He didn't want this dog to die, it was just a precious animal, and already it meant the world to him. "Derek? A dog?"

"He kept following me!" Greg, having left immediately after Derek's urgency, returned with his equipment. They followed Derek into the bar as he placed the puppy on the bar. He inspected the open wound and groaned, it was all too familiar with GUILT victims. However, he'd never seen it in animals before. "He's infected with guilt? How!" Angie gasped as Greg set the equipment on the bar. The bartender moved everything away while other patrons observed from a safe distance. They didn't have anesthesia, so this would be a _very_ delicate operation.

"It can transfer to from human to animals, most likely," Greg replied as Derek grabbed all the utensils. He narrowed his eyes and started to focus on the dog, urging the two back just a bit. He didn't want a repeat of what happened before. "Derek, it's a dog…"

"It's a patient, Dr. Kasal." Greg smiled and nodded his head as Derek carefully made the incision. When he arrived into the area that was infected, the lung, he saw the same thing that he'd seen a week before. His breath fell and his eyes widened. "No…" Greg and Angie both swallowed, but had no fear.

"Derek, you can fight it this time."

"We believe in you…" He nodded as the dog's body shook, despite being unconscious. Derek was _not_ letting this puppy die. In such a short time, this dog grew on him and now meant so much to him.

Recalling how he took out the Pempti, versus the Tetarti, he figured it'd be best to go for the easier one first. He focused his healing touch, it had progressed so well for him. Greg and Angie watched in amazement, always amazed, no matter how many times they saw the healing touch in action. He worked so fast and his face was so determined. Greg was always proud, as usual.

"Tetarti's gone." Derek placed the GUILT on the dish, then went to extract the Pempti. He started to sweat, his concentration not faltering. This puppy reminded him of that childhood pet he had, the one that had been hit. "Come on Tama, stay with me…" Angie's face softened with realization when she heard the pet's name. Tama always followed Derek when he was a kid, no matter what, no matter where or when, he always followed him.

"That's why he cares so much…" Greg raised his eyebrows as he watched Derek swiftly remove the remaining GUILT. He then sutured up the wound, he couldn't believe that he actually beat it. Now that he knew what happened, he knew not to make the mistake again.

Once the operation was complete, he couldn't help but chuckle at the shaved spot on the dog. All the GUILT was out of this puppy. The puppy slowly opened his eyes after a minute and let out a soft, curious whimper. It looked up to Derek with questioning eyes and Derek smiled back at him. He rubbed the puppy's head, causing the dog to bark happily. "Your name's Tama, and you're coming home with me. Got that?" Angie stepped next to Derek, so enamored with how sensitive he was. He smiled at her, then back to the dog. "And this is your new mom." She blushed and gently picked Tama from the table, careful not to mess with the stitched area.

"You named him after your childhood pet?" Derek nodded as Greg started cleaning up the operating area. "You know how you're always wanting a dog? Well…" Angie's eyes lit up and she quickly kissed him on the cheek. He smirked and raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I thought you said you weren't kissing me until I cleaned."

"I didn't kiss you on the lips, did I?" She smirked back and turned around, heading for the doors. Greg laughed and Derek let out a sigh of defeat. "Anyway, let's get to Dr. Kasal's car, we need to get home." The men followed her out to the car and watched as she sat in the passenger seat, holding Tama gingerly in her lap. The puppy seemed perfectly content and comfortable in her gentle hands. She'd always wanted a dog, ever since she was a girl, but never had one. Derek started to get in the back and Greg placed his hand upon his shoulder, looking seriously into his eyes.

"Are you going to be okay, Derek? I understand Tyler was your best friend, but you won't let that interfere with your job, I hope…"

"No sir, I won't. I'll be fine. Thanks for finding me, I guess…" Greg smiled and pat him on the back, then moved around to the driver's side while Derek entered the back.

At their house, hours later, Angie and Derek snuggled up in the bed. Tama was resting on the floor on the rug. Derek was now clean, his breath smelled nice, and his face was smooth again. He looked to Angie and she gently kissed his lips, a promise was a promise. "Angie, again, I'm really-"

"Quiet, I've been wanting to talk to you about something." She rested her head next to his and placed her hand on his chest, gently tracing her fingernail in circles. He placed his hands behind his head and looked at her angelic face. He truly was lucky to have a woman like her to keep him in line. God he loved her. "I found out the day of that operation and didn't know how to tell you, or when…then everything happened…"

"What is it?" She moved her eyes to the side and breathed in deeply, extremely nervous. Her eyes met with his and she gave him a nervous smile. His eyes eyebrows rose as she curled her hand inward and closed her eyes. "I'm pregnant, Derek." His eyes widened and his jaw fell. She was _pregnant_? That put a new perspective on everything. "You're going to be a father." He smiled and met her eyes, taking her hands and turning his body to face her. "I love you, Derek."

"I love you, and I love that we're going to have a baby." They were to be wed next month, June 12, 2028. Angie would be 31, he'd be 36, and things were really looking up for them. He cupped her cheek with his hand and she blushed. Every day, he still made her blush like crazy, it was insane, with as long as they'd been together. "We're going to make a great family, you and I, our baby, and Tama." Her heart swelled and water droplets appeared at the corner of her eyes.

"I couldn't ask for anyone better." They wrapped their arms around each other in a strong embrace and kissed deeply. Derek wasn't broken, no, he was whole, and he owed his life to this woman. He was going to do his best at everything, for her, and for the baby. He had to, he had to take care of those he loved, no matter what. GUILT would one day be eradicated, wiped out, but until then, all that really mattered was his family and his patients. He would never succumb to the darkness that befell him, never again.

He watched her snuggle close to his chest and close her eyes, breathing in his scent and embracing his warmth. She was so cute when she slept, but then, he thought she was cute at all hours of the day, under any circumstances. His face softened and he gently kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, sweet Angie." He couldn't wait to get back on the job and tell everyone he was going to be a father. With that, he chuckled, closed his eyes and breathed out. Drifting to sleep, only to awaken on a new day. This was the life.

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I hope you enjoyed this oneshot. I've come a long way in these years, and I'm happy. I'm glad to pay homage to the fandom that started it all, and glad to pay homage to the author who helped start it all: Black-wings91. I'm still debating making two other oneshots with trauma center, one per current fandom. I know to cross them over, it's 2028, so the characters will definitely be much older. Anyway, not important. What is important, is the memory and the joy. This ended on a peaceful note, which I wanted, so I'm happy about that. Enough about how I feel, let me know how you feel!


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